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SmellyBlog

Monkey Monday: Stinky Humans

Let's welcome Stinky!

What is your natural body odour and is it really all that bad? Good questions, which is tough to answer in our scrubbed-clean world. What part of our perception of body odour is due to cultural restrictions and norms? And what part of it is true biological/scientific fact? That would be hard to tell.

Unfortunately, most of the instances when we encounter unwashed people, they are not necessarily healthy. Unfortunately, the limited access to hygene and showers is more often than never a side effect of drug/alcohol abuse, and comes with side effects of bad nutrition and other ailments.

For the sake of science - perhaps you might consider this exercise: try to not bathe for a week, and see if you like what you smell... Or you may bathe, but use water only, just as animals would in nature. No soap, detergents, or any man-made accessories that might temper with one's true natural odour. See how you really smell...

According to Avery Gilbert's The Nose Knows, humans are stinky by default. We are better at stinking than skunks, because unlike their enemy-activated stink release mechanism, we stink 24/7. We don't make that great of a meal, and animals would have to be very hungry to consider us as prey... The Jungle Book also alludes to that matter, as the animals mostly have great respect to human's flesh, and it's considered a tabu to eat it (except for the ruthless tiger in the story).

In fact, we stink so badly that through years of evolution humans have developed complex strategies for reducing their natural scent to a more toned-down, palatable state: we invented soaps and scents to remove our body odours and mask it with that of other, better-equipped animal scents such as whale vomit, sexual secretions of deer and civet cats, and even the aromatic feces of hyrax!
And, of course there are also the more romantic sounding sources such as plant genitalia (aka flowers), and their other organs - roots, bark, fruit and leaves.

In our many years of  distancing ourselves from our real (disgusting) scent, we have romanticized body odour to the point that some of us crave it - though unknowingly, only in its muted states. We tend to think of body odour as this sexy, uncontrollable aspect of our beings, full of irresistible pheromones. There is some of that, true. But mostly - we stink. Honestly, if it wasn't for the healthy amounts of soap to wash the sweat daily, it will build up to a rather ungodly size of oily, rancid sillage (or shall I say silage? The scent would be about as bad...!).

People tend to talk about perfume as an article of pure luxury, an unnecessary addiction, an auxiliary supplement that is frivolous and excessive. I beg to differ. Perfume is necessary to overcome the human stench. Little doses of it are ok, if they are scrubbed off on a regular basis within a human bathing establishment - rituals of which take place for thousands of years in most civilized places. Other animals might enjoy cleaning each other with their tongues. Humans usually recoil at the idea unless the person is smeared with chocolate, or was freshly bathed.  

In less civilized places (i.e.: Europe), perfuming with lavish amounts of Aqua Mirabillis (aka eaux de cologne) would replace the act of bathing, and thank goodness at least they did that in the days of open sewage. These alcoholic-based tinctures of bacteria-combating compounds found in citrus, herbs and spices had a triple-purpose of  masking, deodorizing, as well as disinfecting.

Now, thanks to the rise of both hygiene and perfume technology, humans have gone to the other extreme - where we sport very little scent of our own if at all. It's always tempered by our surrounding, which is highly scented whether if we like it or not. As an aside note - I'd like to mention that unlike the increasingly popular belief that fine fragrances are the enemy of your environment's purity; I believe it is more so the functional fragrance practices of scenting anything from plastics, paints and toys to house cleaning products and laundry detergents that is bombarding our systems with toxic chemicals - not to mention the pollution from cars, factories and industrial farming; multiple-chemical-sensitive people are picking on the wrong target, in my humble opinion).

I hope by now you're not all completely grossed out by our smell... We certainly have some good spots. Our babies smell amazing, for one thing. And body odour is not just one gigantic mass of stench. It can be broken down and analyzed to different body parts and sources of human odours - some of which are pleasant and beautiful. Like a baby's crown and mother's milk; and when getting to know your lover I'm sure you will notice a lot of wondrous scents in secret places. But that should probably belong to another post...

Now, to this week's contest: leave a comment with your thoguhts on the subject - are humans just plain stinky? Or are we too used to smelling "clean"?
Winner will receive a beautiful deluxe package of Persephenie's scented body products in a silk pouch.

Monkey Monday: Player - or Scent-Slut?

As promised last week, I was going to tell you the story of my friend (who brought me a sample of Angel). So, we met at the beach and she was telling me about this guy she went on 2 dates with. On the 2ndn one things got a little steamier, and she couldn't help but notice that on top of the colgone on his neck (Armani Code - kinda fruity woody-oriental that she could recognize from the 1st date), and on his wrists (A*Men - delicious coffee, patchouli and cocoa), there was a very familiar scent all over his chest too...
It took her a few moments to figure out what cause an olfactory cognitive dissonance - and an ever so slightly sense of mistrust:
The perfume of questions, which she first thought might be Jean-Paul Gautier's Classique (the one in the feminine torso), was non other than the rosy-violet sweetness of Bvlgari pour Femme.
In other words: The man could have very possibly just been in the arms of another woman (which can be hardly considered infidelity in this context; but still...). Or: he was a scent-slut and was trying on all kinds of smelly things on...

When she humourously confronted him about it (after all, no girl wants to come across as "jealous" on the 2nd date. We're in year 2012, after all!), he went on about how he just met this lady friend who works at The Bay (and who, fair enough, let him try A*Men and was generous enough to give him a bunch of more Angel samples to give to all the other ladies he's trying to get involved with). Supposedly, according to his robust theory, his friend is a big woman and gave him a big hug, which doused his shirt with Bvlgari Pour Femme; and later when he stopped to drink from a water fountain, the scent further penetrated his shirt to cover his chest...
End of story.

And now I'm passing the ball to you: Do you think his story is true? Is he a player? Or just likes to douse himself with very strong perfumes (and/or strongly scented women)?
I will tell you what my friend decided later...

Among the commenters, there will be a lucky draw on Friday (promise!) to win a bottle of Pink Praline by Soivohle'.

Monkey Monday Winner (Smelly Commute)

Thank you to everyone who participated in the Monkey Monday Smelly Commute contest of the week. You all did a great job guessing (Exotic Green Tea - how many cups of green tea did Elizabeth Arden have to brew before realized the tea bag run out of flavour?!), CK Summer (one among many CK flankers, that I cannot possibly keep track of), Hugo Woman and JOOP!

But the correct answer, which was Lindaloo's (also the first commenter - are you a mind reader?!), is Allure Sensuelle (2006) - the flanker to Allure (1996), a rather flat, linear and colourless floriental that they tried to make more raspy and throaty by marrying it with their accidental best-selling flanker Coco Mademoiselle (to Coco).

But two flankers do not a masterpiece make (or even a bestseller). Allure Sensuelle, I regret to say, was rather disappointing to me even though it had a lot of promise at the time. The patchouli and vanilla base sure were refreshing when fruity gourmand florals were still at their height (if they are ever going to not be, we'll all be better off). It had that rancid aquatic fruity top note (supposedly melon or lychee or both) that really works bad with patchouli and vetiver, but seems to be the mark of sophistication for perfume users who don't know any better (yet).

And now I will stop my rare anti-perfume rant and ask Lindaloo to send me your snail mail addy so I can send you a package of samples from the SF Sniff and 1st Artisan Fragrance Salon. I hope you will find something to your liking among these artisan perfumers' creations!

Monkey Monday: The Joys of Smelly Commutes

Monkey Bizness

Last week (and all summer thereof), I had to use the car co-op to drive my daughter to and from summer camp. I'm certainly learning to appreciate the no commuting required the rest of the year, and mourn the 2 hours lost to traffic each day. Certainly does not make for a very productive work day (in contrary to what I remember commuting to be...).
Anyway, as I was using the same car every day for the entire week, and as I was trying different perfume samples from those given to me at the Artisan Fragrance Salon, I was alarmed to sense a scent of a certain unlikeable perfume around me, and kept wondering where it came from: is it from my wristwatch? My ring? My hair?

It took me a couple of days to locate the source of the undesireable perfume emanate from the seat belt. Some car-sharing gal went all perfume-spray-happy for her car co-op errands (which I'm rather thrilled about - Vancouverites wearing scent are a thing of rarity), and completely contaminated it with her scent. If it wasn't that particular one, I wouldn't be complaining about it (and booking a different car for the following week).

But, my loss is your gain: If you guess correctly which scent it is, you will win your very own free sample of it (just kidding! just kidding!). No, no, you will win a bunch of samples from the SF Sniff, plus a couple more that I've added by perfumers who presented at the salon last weekend, including Sonoma Scent Studio's new and beautiful Forest Walk.

Here are your hints:
1) Released in the 2000's
2) Not a celebrity perfume
3) Was never reviewed on SmellyBlog
4) It's a flanker for a rather popular scent from the 90's. It was released exactly 10 years before the "original".
5) Last but not least: It's not a niche, hard to find fragrance. You should be able to find it in most if not all department stores and run of the mill parfumeries and drug stores.

As usual, the contest will close by Friday at noon, by which I will do a lucky draw via random.org.
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